Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just want to make out with him forever
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
