So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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