You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize