Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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