Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We are all done wearing pants today
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize