some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
