Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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