"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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