this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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