i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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