I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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