I hope mine doesn't look like that
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
