Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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