y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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