Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize