She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
