i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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