i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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