I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
