I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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