What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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