Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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