He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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