When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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