I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
