They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
