she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
