How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
