Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
