your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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