Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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