entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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