sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
