I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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