apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
