How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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