Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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