I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
