The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm too high and old for this...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
