Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
