Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
