The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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