We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
