the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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