we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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