i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize