I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
