i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
