elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
