at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
