I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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