You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize