For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
