A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
