This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
