I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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