How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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