How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
